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The Stress Test

Adapted by Deb Gebeke,
family science specialist,
NDSU Extension Service.

A crisis is any event that produces stress beyond what regular coping skills can handle.

North Dakotans who face a disaster-related crisis include farmers who have lost crops, businesspeople who have damaged inventory and a drop in business or fewer customers, families who have lost personal belongings.

Do you know someone who is having trouble coping? Whether you are a family member, neighbor, elevator worker, bulk truck driver, clergy member or other business/community person, you can help!

Positive and Negative Coping Methods

Positive Methods
	Spiritual Commitment Prayer Faith Surrender Valuing Worship Physical Relaxation Nourishment Self-care Exercise Stretching Biofeedback Family Balancing Togetherness Flexibility Networking Esteem building Conflict resolution	Mental Time management Problem solving Life planning Relabeling Organizing Imagination Diversion Learning Music Work Getaways Hobbies Play Interpersonal Affirmation Contact Expression Linking Assertiveness Limits
Negative Methods
	Indulging Revenge Tantrums Fault finding Worrying Denial Illness	Tobacco Withdrawal Alcohol Eating Passivity Stubbornness Drugs

How many positive or negative methods do you use? How many do you see in others?

Source: A Positive Approach to Stress Management. (1983) Appleton, WI: Aid Association For Lutherans.

Listening to Your Body

Distress Signals

• Body Symptoms: sweating, dry mouth, headache, backache, intestinal distress, hunched shoulders, flushed
• Mood Changes: frustration, irritability, hopelessness, restlessness, impatience, forgetfulness, panic attacks
• Behavior: disturbed sleep patterns, emotional outbursts, overreacting, talking too fast or too loud, increased alcohol use
• Long-Term Stress-Related Illness: back pain, skin disorders, asthma, peptic ulcers, high blood pressure

Stress Solutions

• Diet: Increase fresh fruits and vegetables, grains, fiber and lean meat. Decrease salt, fat, caffeine and refined sugar.
• Lifestyle Changes: Exercise more, improve time management, take more time for yourself and learn to relax.
• Relationships: Surround yourself with positive people, talk about your worries, ask for help and keep your sense of humor.

Children's Stress Symptoms

Behavior

• Crying or looking sad
• Whining
• Being down on self
• Hurting others or self
• Clinging to adults
• Withdrawing from others
• Frequent tantrums
• Nervous behaviors such as biting nails
• Self-destructive behaviors such as eating disorders
• Abuse of alcohol or other chemicals

Health

• Frequent headaches, stomachaches, nausea
• Can't sleep
• Grinding teeth
• Nervous tic or stuttering
• Low-grade fevers
• Sick more often
• Fatigue
• Change in eating habits

Learning

• Drop in grades
• Avoids homework
• Daydreams, can't concentrate

Family Stress Symptoms

• Sense of urgency—no time to relax or find the root of the problem
• Constant sense of frustration or too much to do
• Explosive arguments
• Isolation
• Abuse of alcohol or other chemicals
• Little time together
• Conversations center on time and tasks rather than people and feelings
• Sense of guilt
• Little enjoyment from family life

Setbacks

Everyone experiences setbacks from time to time. To adjust to setbacks:

1. Avoid trying to control the uncontrollable, such as weather, markets.
2. Avoid trying to blame someone or something for problems. Blaming and other acts of anger only make things worse.
3. Look for some meaning, some new sense of direction.
4. Avoid being too quick to judge the outcomes.
5. You are not alone!
6. Get your emotions out. Talk and talk and talk some more. Don't bottle things up inside and explode later. Open your mouth and your heart. Let go of the past and move on.
7. Keep a sense of humor!

Depression Warning Signs

1. Change in eating/sleeping habits
2. Moody, irritable, not themselves
3. Not caring, not able to concentrate
4. Overwhelming sadness, no feelings of joy
5. Lack of energy
6. Hopelessness, helplessness
7. Talking about suicide or ending it all
8. Giving away possessions

Responding to Depression

1. Listen and reflect, clarify.
2. Stay with the person.
3. Seek help, continue contacts and discussion.
4. Go with the person to get help.

What Can You Do To Help Someone Else?

1. Make a point to notice changes in the person.
2. Take time out to talk to the person about it. Ask, "Tell me how you're managing," or "How did your government payments work out?" or "I noticed you're really quiet. Is there something bothering you?"
3. Identify and define the problem. Break the problem down into manageable parts and choose one part to begin working on together. Have a specific plan.
4. If you're really worried about someone and aren't comfortable approaching that person, ask another trusted person (friend, family member, pastor) for an opinion.
5. If you're finding a lot of concern for that person, call the North Dakota HELP-LINE at 1-800-472-2911 to get the help you or your friend needs.

Remember

Life involves many risks and setbacks. But there is no problem so great that together you and the person you're concerned about cannot handle it.

You can make a difference. Help others to focus on their future and the opportunities ahead.

Characteristics of a Healthy Family

1. Spend time together away from work.
2. Listen and support each other.
3. Have a sense of commitment to each other — family loyalty and pride.
4. Have religious faith.
5. Know how to cope in a crisis. Look to grow together, not apart.
6. Focus on the positive.
7. Express appreciation.
8. Have fun together and a sense of humor.
9. Take time to plan, dream, set goals and revise the plan often.
10. Hold regular family meetings and business meetings on neutral ground. Try to separate family from business.

References

Family Information Services, Minneapolis, Joan Comeau, editor, 1991-93

Miller, L.H. and Smith, A., Boston University Medical Center.

A Positive Approach to Stress Management. (1983) Appleton, WI: Aid Association For Lutherans.

North Dakota State University
NDSU Extension Service

Funded with a special grant from the U.S. Department of Agriculture

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